Welcome to another episode of Creepy Cove Community Church! You will find herein, a recording of our most recent church service. Which we shall tell you about in words below...
The service opens with our church administrator Rupert Donk, who (after warning people to avoid a sleeping Mr Upson Pratt in the front row) proceeds to share some exciting news about our minister Peter Laws. For he has joined Arc Light Media to become the lead writer and presenter of the 'FRIGHTFUL' podcast. Tune in to that for free every Sunday, for scary but true tales of the paranormal, creepy crime, bizarre creatures, urban myths and much more! Just search 'FRIGHTFUL' in your podcast apps, or on Spotify.
After that blatant, but well intentioned plug, Rupert has a most invigorating discussion with a local haunted doll. Chucky's the name, and murderin' and disrespectin' in his game. But will he behave himself now he's in a church? Let's hope so!
After that, it's over to Peter who leads us in a 'sermon' on the topic 'What Is Love?' and at no point does he say, 'Baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.' What a missed opportunity, ey?
Following this address, we have a time of prayer and meditation followed by the church band who leap to the stage to perform this week's Horror Hymn. This highly effecting electro track explores who the science fiction future we were all promised (glitter wigs, robots and people dressed in glass and metal) never materialised. And so the people of the modern age are wearing much more mundane attire...the title of this though provoking toe-tapper is 'THE FUTURE IS FLEECE'. This track uses an actual vocoder, so please be impressed.
After that, Rupert and Peter have a little chat about the potential rehabilitation of little Chucky, then our service draws to a close.
May it please you, encourage you, amuse you or disgust you...but may it never make you feel unwelcome. For no matter who you are, no matter what you believe, you are loved here at Creepy Cove.
To discover how you can join the Congregation and support the show, check out www.patreon.com/creepycove